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Thursday, May 28, 2009

You think you know..

Currently: "Doublethinking"

The labyrinth world of doublethink:

"To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying to claim to it......to forget what it is necessary to forget then draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly forget it again, and above all apply the same process to the process itself - that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unsconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word of "doublethink" involved the use of doublethink."

A sort of descrition of how my mind works. Lifted from the book 1984 by Orwell. It is mind blowing to ponder on it and I think I just spent the last 30 minutes doing just that. I am applying it to a predicament I am facing haha.

This is the best explanation I have to why you think I am what I am. I doublethink to believe what I need to believe for whatever reason - to get through the day, to lessen anxiety, to avoid conflict, to be normal, to not hurt someone". Meanwhile holding whatever I believe is true in my subconscious only to bring it out when flashes of a mental picture of the word "ALARM" is going off in my head. All my thoughts momentarily freeze as the mental picture becomes clearer and clearer until it fades away in less than a second. Yeah, reeking a little bit of insanity huh? Another vague post to get something off my chest. Yeah, i'm not dense.

BRAIN DAMAGE: I dont know how I can read a book and think I havent read it until reading the last few words. :/

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Don't blame it on the alcohol

Just so youre warned, this post is a rant. haha

Guys are stupid. Of course im being general and that statement doesnt apply to all. But most of them are anyway.

One of the many things i've learned from my previous relationship are the bulok styles guys use. So I now find myself not tolerating all their BS. They half jokingly say something and then back down and crawl back to their holes when they realize it isnt working. At least have the (ehem) balls to say something and not blame it on alcohol the next day. Another thing, please consider who youre talking to! What pisses me off is thinking about what that person thinks of me for him to say those words to me. Granted we werent good friends or anything, ive known the person for quite a while. Not everyone is as nice as me, if i didnt let my temper get the best of me i may have done something more evil haha.

So to sum it up: Please do not come to me thinking that I want to get with you or think that im lonely and want to hookup. I am not that kind of person and you shouldve known better. If youre that desperate please, please, please dont bother people go lock yourself somwhere and scratch your own back. I am not interested.

I used to think that assuming things when guys joke around something was a little conceited so I let it pass. But Ive realized that i'm a "respectable person", and I deserve to be treated and talked to with respect.

But anyway, I know this isnt making any sense to anyone reading this.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Black Eye

Why isnt my concealer working?! 0.0

Under eye circles are probably one of the most common problems. When I first started doodling with makeup, I was always looking for a concealer that would cover the slightly blueish tone under my eyes. That was more than 5 years ago. They are no longer SLIGHTLY bluish.

I blame it on the case presentations, the quizzes and exams in college and the thousands of facts and diseases I had to cram into my head for the Nursing board exam. Hello freshness! haha

Concealers should be applied to the area youre trying to conceal in thin layers. If its not enough continue layering thinly until you get the right coverage. However, it doesnt work all the time. If you keep layering eventually the concealer will deposit in to the creases or lines if you have any and it will look cakey.

If you find that nothing works to cover the evidence of too much partying or you just want to pretend that you didnt stay up all night cramming for an exam then what you need are Neutralizers are Color Correctors.

Neutralizers/Color Correctors work by cancelling out a discoloration such as under eye circles, redness, brown discolorations due to hyperpigmentation and basically any kind of abnormal coloring. These are the crazy colored concealers you see - the green, yellow, purple, orange/pink, etc.

For it to work, you have to have some understanding of colors and what color blocks what. Here is a color wheel:

Opposite of Blue is Orange or Yellow Orange. You can use a neutralizer that has a tint of orange or even salmon pink to neutralize bluish undertones such as those under the eyes.

Opposite Red is Green. You can use a neutralizer that doesnt necessarily have to be green ( I see a lot of those) but has some tint of green to it to neutralize redness caused by acne or spider veins

Also a neutralizer with a hint of pink to it can help covering up brown spots.

When correcting color, remember that you DONT use a pure green, orange or pink color to Neutralize. You need to look for a product with a skin tone color but has the correct color undertone (green, red, etc) to correct problem areas. The most common corrector I see is the one from Physicians Formula and the corrector/primers from Smashbox. The ones that they have to correct redness are Green and though I havent tried them I think they would end up leaving a slightly green cast if you dont mix it or cover it with foundation. I just think its too weird to put green makup on your face.

Another tip I found: After neutralizing or color correcting lightly dust it with powder (prefereably something finely milled like a transulucent powder, mufe hd powder or something like it) and then apply foundation. This prevents the mixing of the two.

I have been trying Cinema Secretss Ultimate Foundation and Concealers/Corrector. I havent gotten the hang of mixing the foundations to get a mtach but I love the correctors. They get rid of the bluish tone under my eyes as well as any hyperpigmentation or redness I have from broken capillaries, veins or pimple marks. But I dont think I can use them as is since I will look like I have an-an HAHAHA. So I have to use foundation (cream or powder) over it to hide the areas I concealed. And it works so well, i am in love with it!

Anyway, thats it for now. Pictures next post.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

You only eat what??!

Pescetarianism is the practice of a diet that includes seafood and excludes mammals and birds. In addition to fish and/or shellfish, a pescetarian diet typically includes some or all of vegetables, fruit, nuts, grains, beans, eggs, and dairy. (wikipedia)

Pescetarianism"Pesco/pollo vegetarianism", "pescetarianism" or "semi-vegetarianism" Or in other words a vegetarian who is a dumbass and thinks Fish are plants. (Urban Dictionary)

That second definition made me laugh.

Many people (vegans) do not consider pescetarians as vegetarians and refuse to be associated with people who are. But well, I really dont care haha. I did not choose to be a pescetarian so I can parade around and be called a vegetarian, a vegan or pescetarian. labels, labels, labels ahhh.

Anyway, I missed it. I said I would post something on my "anniversary". I thought I stopped eating poultry April of 2008. Turns out it was March haha. Soo, ive been at it for a year, 2 months and 8 days. Im not going to lie and say I havent cheated. I started this diet telling myself that I will eat meat on very special occassions (that doesnt include birthdays except my own haha) I can feel all the vegans raising their eyebrows about 2 inches more.

I orignally planed on going straight --vegan 2009 haha yes I was planning on it a year earlier. So I was researching; you cant just stop eating meat without knowing how youre going to replace all the nutrients you need. So I was researching on the internet when I came across the PETA videos on youtube (Meet your meet, etc.) So I watched all of it. Hmm it was horrible. I felt so bad I couldnt eat anything for a day :/ I felt so sorry for the animals that I decided "why wait a year? i'll do it now" Well mostly because I just really couldnt bring myself to eat meat after watching the videos.

Like I said, you cant just decide to be a vegetarian without knowing what to eat. So I lived mostly on wheat bread, tomatoes, oatmeal, okra, fruits, tofu and lettuce for a few days. Niice huh? haha. That explains some pictures that I have where I look malnourished LOL it was mostly because I wasnt eating the right stuff. being a vegetarian in the Philippines is a struggle. There really arent enough places that are vegan friendly. I didnt know anyone who was a vegan soo it was tough.

Eventually I decided to eat fish and seafood (sorry fishies) due to the lack of nutrients I was getting. And then followed cheese and dairy because I just couldnt live without cheese. I wasnt even aware of the term Pescetarian. I just thought I was on a modified less cruel diet.


I think this is what some people choose to do before they become Vegans. I dont know if im ready but I definately will, one day stop eating meat completely. I have friends who laugh at me and think im silly. Other people say im being pretentious and force me to eat meat. The biggest surprise was the support my Dad gave me. One of my biggest concern was how my Dad would react to it. he often tells me that I need to gain weight or im just doing things to lose weight (eg. exercise) 0.0 I didnt know wanting to be healthy was being anorexic. Anyway, after a days/weeks/months of going without meat, my dad eventually adapted my diet and did his own modified less cruel diet. He ate less meat and even encouraged Ate Ning to cook less meat. Aww :)

I will post a link to a comprehensive text on going Vegan. It discusses the struggles you deal with like people thinking how silly you are and forcing you to eat meat. I mean really, why? What I hate most is sharing it to people and they react by saying "Cut that PETA crap" and then proceed to talk about chicken and beef terriyaki. :/ how sensitive. You could at least say good for you but im not interested. That was probably one of the most annoying response i've ever gotten.

But anyway, my diet now has become more lenient. I eat meals cooked with meat but I dont eat the meat. I think its convenoient but im planning to change that up pretty soon. Its really difficult if other people, most especially the people you live with dont support your choice. Youre left to eat crappy foods at home because theres nothing else to eat.

There is such a thing as fat vegans btw, those are the people who dont eat the right stuff. Yes, they dont eat meat but they probabl eat a lot of bad carbs because they dont know what else to eat. I am slowly becoming that haha.

Anyway, I am happy with my choice. I know you might think, "well yeah youre not eating meat, how is that going to help?" Little things make a difference. Not everyone will understand or will think the same way as I do, but im happy that in my own little way im making a difference. Te lack of food sources and not knowing what and where to get food is the only thing stopping me from completely saying byebye to meat.

Some helpful tips:

"While a teenager's first instinct may be to dive directly into a strict vegan lifestyle, it's more likely that they'll have an easier time is they ease into their new way of eating slowly.
Phase out the animal products over a several weeks, eating meat just two or three times per week, then once per week, then not at all. Or perhaps starting as an ovo-lacto vegetarian, and then phasing out eggs and dairy."

"It's important that new vegetarians take care to make sure that all of their nutritional needs are being met. Most vitamin needs are more than adequately met by eating plant foods, and
the bonus of cutting out meat will be seen in the lower intake of saturated fats and cholesterol. But some nutrients will be inshorter supply, particularly calcium, iron, zinc and vitamin B-12
-- Calcium is important for healthy bones, and can be found in fortified soy milk, tofu and green leafy vegetables."

If youre interested, links that may help:

How to Successfully Become a Vegetarian

Even if You Think You Can’t Do It

Even If You Think It’s Way Too Hard

Even If You Have Tried & Failed Before

Dedicated To : You – A compassionate person who tries to make

a better World.

I read that free ebook and got it from: http://www.veggie123.com/
You may download it and subscribe via email even if you havent decided or dont think its for you :)

FREE PETA Vegetarian Starter Kit: http://www.goveg.com/order.asp
Vegetarian 101 from goveg.com

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ghostface Killah

Ever gone out with friends and thought "wow, im hot!" with your cute little dress, you check yourself out in the mirror one last time and think your makeup is impeccable. Come the next day when you get a copy of the pictures that were taken from the previous night. And you shriek! I looked like an Espasol.

Awesome Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/chinad0ll/397848300/

One more Espasol look.


Ive never had that happen to me, either because I tend to go slightly dark with my foundation or barely used foundation at all. When I see pictures of random people with "white faces" I think, oh theres one again, another girl who's obsessed with being white. I thought that it was simply because they chose a shade lighter than their actual skin tone (which is usually the case anyway) but did you know, that a common and widely used ingredient in most Foundations actually causes you too look like a clown in pictures? NOT COOL, not cool at all.


What it is:
It is a naturally occuring mineral and one of the top 50 most produced chemical in the world. It has a variety of uses and can be found in a variety of products from food, paint and cosmetics.
Its usually found in cosmetics with sunscreen, in most foundations and Mineral Makeup. Its used as a white pigment, an opacifier and sunscreen.

Foundations with a high amount of titanium dioxide gives you the espasol look. The flash from the camera bounces off it and tadah!, one million clown pictures from your most recent night out.
This is the reason why mineral makeup or foundations with a high amount of titanium dioxide are avoided in shoots. So if you know you're going to be taking a lot of pictures next time you're going out, you might want to skip your foundation with SPF.

Most makeup dont actually state how much Titanium Dioxide is in their product. So just avoid foundations with SPF (save it for regular days - since it wont actually change the color of your face IN PERSON only in pictures). Most drugstore brands contain a higher amount of T. Dioxide (eg. Maybelline, Revlon, Loreal) and mineral makeup.

More about Titanium Dioxide:
Another issue with it is that, some researchers say that it can cause lung fibrosis and is a carcinogenic (what else isnt these days?) But, I think right now its listed as a safe chemical. But to be on the safe side, try avoiding stuff that contains T. Dioxide, quit putting on makeup, only eat organic grass and live under a rock. haha


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