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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Scramble

I find it amusing when people consider me to be strong or confident or assertive or anything related. Well actually its one person haha (you know who you are!) So thank you. I dont see myself the way you do so maybe im not seeing myself the way I should be? lol

Little comments like that mean so much to me. Words are powerful. And i feel empowered by your comment, so thank you! hehe

I've been away for only 3 months and I feel like a totally different person. Im still quiet, im still like the old me. But im happier and I feel stronger. I am more at peace with myself and do not feel obligated to please everyone with nice manners to a point where it is insanely unecessary haha. Its actually very liberating to feel that you dont need anyone to make or keep you happy. Although, friends and family will always be important. I think that Ive finally learned to be happy with myself and to not constantly seek anyones approval.

There's a bug going around! Goodness gracious! Only caby will get it, but please do not reply regarding the "matter". lol. Anyway, things happen for a reason and they will be resolved if meant to be. All the dramz now makes me want to go home to comfort and be comforted. But you know my reasons :)

I still miss home, miss friends, miss everyone, miss BF haha. But I dont feel lonely anymore. Well I have a few weeks left to go anyway and there is so much to look forward to and Im running again soo things are easier and more fun haha.

Im just rambling. That talk with boi on the way home made me miss my friends back home.

Cindy! I promise i'll post something makeup related soon! I just havent been amusing myself with oggling and playing with makeup recently haha but sometime this week.

And thank you to everyone who's been reading my nonsense posts and to those who come back to check if i have new posts haha. I usually just tralala and find things to write in my blog but for the past couple of days im just so ewan haha.

7 comments:

Jessica de Mesa, RN. said...

mauiii :)

I WISH I'D COME TO THAT POINT VERY SOOOOON! very strong and independent! happy 4 u maui :)

most of the time im a people-pleaser and always needing to explain myself, not to gain approval or anything, i just like coming to the aid of others whom i genuinely care for. that's just the way i am, parang innate na. but sometimes it takes a toll when people expect too much :( anyhoo maybe the most important thing is what makes us happy and content without hurting others :)

i just dont like some people who are TOO MUCH of a pleaser but u could tell it's FAKE. i know many people like that. makes me vomit.

<333

checked your twitter and u havent updated din pala. ako im back at it hahaha labo :)

Sush said...

Thank you Jess! Well its in theory with some application lol things can change when youre somewhere else but I think im sticking to it.

I think were sort of the same always pleasant and nice though it may not seem like it haha but sometimes you just have to stop caring too much alam mo yun? hayy

ohh yeah, I wanted to sign up sa plurk din but I have nothing to update people about haha im so bored here.

xeends said...

wow special mention p q s blog post mo..yay!..:) hmmm..ok i'm gonna wait for ur next post about make up..sooo excited..hehe mmh..remember when i told u that ur a strong person?and i really admire u for that..well that is so true coz i find u as a person with so much confidence..and it really shows..;) good thing that u already find urself from that vacation away from so much drama back here..

i also know the feeling of seeking everybody's approval or having to please everyone..because i myself is like that too..coz i like everything to be ok and not build conflict to evryone but now i learned that u don't have to please evrybody..and yeah jess is right coz some people are too much of a pleaser and u can really tell if it's fake..so u have to be cautious with their moves..

what's important is that ur happy and u love what u do..ur at peace..:)

coz above all..that's what really matters..:)

i'm happy 4 u maui..u deserve it!=

Anonymous said...

yeah, there's a disconnect between maui according to other people (including from maui herself sometimes) and maui in front of you, poised and self-assured. that's body language, but I've never met maui-the-mute either. ..no need to learn sign languages. she doesn't talk a mile a minute, but no biggie if she's quieter.. hehe.

Misconceptions about quiet people: shy, socially inept, push-over, uncompetitive... 'though if you're told something often enough, you might end up believing it.

We're all wired differently. if that changes, she won't be Maui.

about finding yourself. ..usually and always when you're far, far from home and you know why. been there.. but i think i need a repeater, as we all do once in a while. i give props to California, though, the bestest and mostest mystical place in the planet.

Sush said...

Thank you cindy. I know what you mean, sometimes you think "is all the drama even worth it?" I hate conflicts too! But, i wouldnt say that im there in that place now, knowing myself completely but im getting there :)

I think its just really hard - the way most of us are raised - to be always mindful and all those things. But we eventually have to break away from what most people expect from us or we'll never be happy

Sush said...

Anonymous? hmmm haha

Yeah. it gets confusing to hear different things about yourself. Im trying to tune out what people think and focus more on what I think.

Being in a different place really helps. Ive always had people pushing me to be things and its only now that I realize that hey is this something that I want for myself or something that someone wants me to be? Although I wouldnt say that it did not help. But it sure doesnt help when youre trying to think and do things for yourself.

When people meet me I think they get those misconceptions. I dont think im shy at all or a pushover haha but you kind of think if you are when people tell you so. But I dont see myself that way so I guess it really is about time to stop caring about what most people think.

Thanks for the comments! :)

xeends said...

glad that ur getting there..:) i know what u feel coz i've been there too..and now i learned to act based on what i really feel, what makes me happy and what i think is right and not based on what people thinks and wants me to be..forget about the drama..coz yeah ur right, if u won't break away from those people who expects so much from u, then u'll never be happy..

as long as u know what u want, u don't hurt anybody, and u don't step on someone else's shoes then u'll be fine..;) u know sometimes u need to get out of ur comfort zone in order to find urself..:)

live ur life to the fullest and stay happy..:)

........

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